Align With Your Values, Change Your Life
The essence of who we are is rooted in our core values. Whether as individuals, communities, or families, our values shape our actions and connect us to one another. But here’s the truth: most people don’t take the time to identify what their values actually are.
I’ve met many people—successful, self-aware adults—who’ve said, “I’ve never even thought about it.” And that’s okay. This blog is here to help you begin or deepen your journey.
In this post, you’ll learn:
What values actually are and why they are important
How to identify YOUR personal values
How to live in alignment with your values to reduce anxiety and increase confidence
What are values, really? And why are they important for your emotional health?
In the world of therapy, especially Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values are seen as guiding principles that give life meaning and direction. Unlike goals (which are specific and measurable), values are ongoing, internal motivators—like “connection,” “growth,” “compassion,” or “faith.”
Think of values as the compass that helps guide your behavior, even when life gets messy. Values direct our actions towards a more rich and fulfilling life.
Living out of alignment with your values can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, depression, and unhealthy coping behaviors. But living in alignment with them leads to confidence, clarity, and peace.
How do you discover your core values?
Your values come from your unique life experiences—your upbringing, relationships, challenges, work, and passions. They’re not static. They can evolve over time.
For example, in your teens, you may prioritize friendship. As an adult, your focus may shift to family. Underneath both? A deep value for connection.
So I encourage you today, to start your exploration journey with your values. Start by looking at a list of values (one of my favorites to share with clients is Brene Brown’s) and choosing your top two values. Understandably, you’re going to want to pick about 10. But the true guide in our life is when we have one to two forces keeping us on track.
Then, list out behaviors you engage in that align with the two values you chose. Ask yourself, “What behaviors reflect this value in my life?” and “When was a time when I felt fully aligned with this value?”
Taking Action: How to Live in Alignment With Your Values
This part is very individualized to each person because you can have the same value of adventure but it will show up differently based on your lifestyle. When we start to explore what our values are, it’s important to also identify the behaviors that highlight your values.
This is where change really begins. Once you know your values, start identifying the daily behaviors that align with them.
For example if your value is compassion, then you would typically live in alignment with that value by treating people with kindness, even in tough conversations. Your misaligned behaviors may include withholding empathy from people you disagree with.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be intentional.
Connecting with your values can become your strongest coping skill. It is a way to always come back to yourself. It’s your biggest truth that no amount of self-doubt can break through.
Your confidence is directly related to how fulfilled your life is based on your values. Your anxious thoughts can be redirected when you are mindful of what matters most to you. You can implement more self-compassion, self-trust, and self-acceptance when living in alignment with your values.
When thinking about your values, ignore any outside voices or pressures about what you “should” value. Your values are yours, and yours alone. That part of values exploration is one of the biggest influences on how confident you will feel on the other end of this journey.
Today, I encourage you to take a moment—just one—and start exploring your values. Reconnect with your inner compass. This one action can shift your path toward more fulfillment, confidence, and peace of mind.
Want help with this process? If you're ready to reduce anxiety, increase confidence, and live a more values-aligned life, schedule a consultation today.
