Healing the Nervous System: Managing Anxiety in a Disconnected World
This is not a political blog, simply speaking to our shared sense of humanity. My goal is not to blame one side or the other, nor even necessarily talk about the never-ending tragedies we are witnessing around the world on a regular basis. The focus of this blog is to instill a sense of hope again. To help folks feel less alone. And most importantly to find a place of calm within ourselves amidst the chaos happening around us.
The past several years have felt different. Life changed for the world when the COVID pandemic started, and I’m not sure life will ever feel “normal” again. There was always a sense of fear in the world with other historical tragedies and run-of-the-mill negative news reports, but nothing seems to have changed our society as much as COVID did in March 2020.
This turning point in the world led to a dramatic increase in depression and anxiety amongst the world’s population. We were forced to isolate, to fear human touch for months for the unknown of spreading the disease, and to change our lifestyle entirely. Children were withdrawn from school during a prime age for socialization, and adults struggled to cope with the uncertainty happening around us.
The Depths of Disconnection
When we are flooded with information from the news, social media, politicians, friends, family, etc. our nervous systems do not always know how to sort out the information being received. This may lead to us shutting down emotionally through dissociation or scrolling mindlessly on social media/ phone games. Or we may cap off emotionally, avoiding the stress of life altogether, and numbing ourselves with unhealthy ways of coping.
With any stress response we may have, when we have compounded events over a prolonged time frame we naturally develop this sense of derealization. That is where I think the majority of us are in the world right now. Derealization is when we have this persistent feeling of detachment from our surroundings. This feeling can vary on a severity spectrum, but at the core it is this sense of “this can’t really be happening.”
Sitting in this space of “unreal” with what happens around us, leads us to feeling disconnected from our life overall. Some folks may lean towards, “What’s the point?” in general and lose the motivation to progress in life. While others tend to feel lost on what could potentially even be their next step with so much uncertainty and end up giving up on their dreams.
These patterns breed a level of us feeling unsafe within our physical environments and with expressing our emotions in a safe relationship. In order to restore a sense of safety, we must focus on what feels most stable for us. We must learn to ride the wave of uncertainty and create a foundation within ourselves that feels regulated.
When working through traumatic experiences within the therapeutic session, and more broadly just developing a healthy therapeutic relationship, there needs to be safety and stability. We cannot heal in environments where we feel physically or emotionally unsafe, and it is especially difficult to grow from a place of instability or chaos. But it’s important to recognize that our nervous systems adapted to survive those situations, to protect us. So when we start learning tools that help us feel more connected to ourselves, it involves a level of mental rewiring.
Across social media, I often see opinions (some backed with credentials and some not) for “quick fixes” to help distract you from the chaos in the world at times. But these are very general approaches, since everyone is a sum of their own life experiences. We are all going to have different responses to what is happening in the world around us. It is going to impact us at different levels.
The key is exploring what works best for your nervous system and acknowledging the fear, anger, or grief that is present. There may be other emotions present as well, but these are the ones that we tend to suppress or avoid with distractions the most.
Let’s try an exercise together that you can shape however you wish to that will best connect you to yourself and the present moment. It is called Dropping Anchor and is a commonly used technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Imagine that you are feeling so flustered and emotionally overwhelmed, leading you to shutting down or feeling so lost on how to cope with all the emotional pain surfacing. This skill helps you drop that grounding anchor amidst the “emotional storm.”
Engage while reading the prompt below:
There is something very painful or difficult showing up for you right now. You may be struggling to process or release it. Let’s focus on connecting with yourself and your surroundings to navigate a solution.
First, begin by pushing your feet hard into the floor. Push them down and feel the ground beneath you.
Now sit forward in your chair and straighten your back. Feel the chair beneath you; notice your back supporting you.
Now slowly press your fingertips together, and as you do that, gently move your elbows and shoulders. Allow your arms to fall by your side after several seconds.
Take a moment to acknowledge there’s a lot of pain here that you’re struggling with. You didn’t ask for it, but here it is. Silently acknowledge what type of pain it is. For example, “Here’s anxiety” or “Here’s grief.”
Now notice that as well as this pain, there’s also a body around that pain. A body that you can move and control.
Straighten your back again and notice your whole body–your feet, legs, hands, and arms. Gently moving them and having a good stretch. Pushing your feet into the ground.
Now also look around the room, up and down, and side to side. Notice 5 things that you can see, and 3 or 4 things you can hear.
So notice there’s something very painful here that you’re struggling with, and at the same time see if you can also notice your body in the chair. Gently move that body and have a stretch. Also notice the room around you. Know that you can always create this space for yourself, wherever you are and whatever you’re feeling.
Doing this simple exercise regularly, not only when you’re overwhelmed, can help you feel more in control when life feels so out of control. The goal isn’t to drastically change your emotions, but noticing them in the moment. Being aware that you are able to move your body and engage with your surroundings in the midst of those overwhelming emotions or thoughts.
So with all the stress happening around you, I hope you find a place of calm within you. Remind yourself daily of the ways you hold control, even if it’s as small as moving your body.
Reach out today if you are interested in learning more skills to help alleviate your anxiety and better cope with the stress of the world, because you’re just one person and you shouldn’t have to face it alone.
References:
https://www.actmindfully.com.au/upimages/Dropping_anchor_script.pdf
