Mental Health Therapy Explained: A Therapist’s Guide for Clients
When starting therapy, there are a lot of mixed emotions–usually rooted in a sense of vulnerability. Even during a consultation call with a therapist, there may be some trepidation as to whether this total stranger (but still licensed professional) will be able to help you improve your life in some way. It can feel daunting to even send that initial email to a therapist and acknowledge that life itself is too much for you to handle right now.
So let’s break down the logistics of what engaging in therapy actually entails from the perspective of a licensed mental health therapist– who has also been a client in her lifetime. This overview provides you with more of an understanding of what to expect when starting therapy, as well as how to feel most productive if you are already meeting with a therapist. There is always something to gain for everyone in therapy!
Is Therapy Right for You?
To begin working with a therapist, you don’t need a referral from your primary care doctor nor a prerequisite for extensive trauma. Therapy is for folks wanting to better understand themselves emotionally, needing to process past experiences that are impacting their present day, struggling to learn new ways of coping with their mental health on their own, or simply needing a supportive person they can trust. To be fair, that was a very generalized look into the themes of therapy, but in essence: just struggling to be human is enough to start therapy.
What I always tell people that I work with during our initial call is that “the only thing I expect from you in sessions is that you are vulnerable.” Therapy doesn’t work for people who are closed off or unwilling to change. It’s important to note as well, that having trust issues can be different than being closed off. With distrust, there is usually a reason behind these strong feelings which means there is a level of workability to move forward building trust again.
When is a Good Time to Start Therapy?
There is never a good time to start therapy— let’s just be real. Our brains will always find a way to make excuses why bettering ourselves doesn’t need to start today. We put off a new workout regimen until after the holidays, we avoid calling the doctor to reschedule our appointment until we are out of medications, and we stay in unhealthy relationships because it feels more comfortable than being alone.
Therapy creates a safe space and healthy relationship where you can address past–or current–issues while learning how to love a new version of yourself. It involves an integrative process of your life experiences– including childhood and family dynamics, relational aspects, medical concerns for example– to expand on the mental health symptoms you are currently noticing.
What to Expect in Mental Health Therapy?
Finding the “right” therapist that can help you meet your personal goals should not feel so complicated, but it is often why I see so many folks turn away from therapy altogether. When you are starting to venture into the research phase of seeking therapy and feeling overwhelmed with finding a therapist who will help you, make sure that you are connecting with someone before you even meet them.
What do I mean by this? That as you are scrolling all the directories, you find someone who has a profile or website that hits your main issues for wanting therapy in the first place and has qualified training or education listed that shows they know what they are doing. Ask the therapist on the first call if they’ve worked with other clients who have similar issues too. It is a big red flag to see a therapist who promotes work with grief/loss and you are consumed with obsessive-compulsive behaviors because they may not know how best to help you work through your ruminating thought patterns.
There are also different approaches within therapy that can be beneficial depending on your situation, and it may be contributing to why people often feel stagnant in therapy. The world of therapy is complex and covers so many mental health, addiction, or behavioral symptoms that we struggle with as humans.
For example, someone who is having panic attacks and struggling to get out of the worry loop will need a therapist who has been trained in Somatic Therapy or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approaches to best understand how anxiety is showing up within their body and strengthen the mind-body connection. However, for someone who has experienced a lot of trauma in their life would most likely find benefit from a therapist trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) as well as Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) to begin healing emotionally and changing the relationship with past experiences.
How to Feel Productive in Therapy?
With each therapy modality (i.e. CBT, EMDR, ACT, etc.) there are techniques, tools, and psychoeducation that we learn as therapists to bring to sessions to build on each week. This background of knowledge is what you are paying for as a client; what you are expecting to gain from your therapist during the time you work with them.
If you feel stuck with your therapist, then either two things are true for you: (1) you have reached a level of stability in your life and just need spaced out check-ins, or (2) you are not learning new skills that will help you be able to sustain any changed behavior long-term.
As a therapist, our goal with therapy is to “put ourselves out of a job.” Because in all reality, that means I’ve served my clients healthily. You should feel productive within your therapy sessions and notice progress being made on emotional, mental, and physical levels within yourself. Your therapist should be assigning you homework outside of sessions depending on your progress.
To maximize your therapy sessions, here are some tips I would encourage you to bring to your next appointment:
Write down your goals before going into the session, maybe listing out 3 items you want to focus on.
Work on identifying more realistic goals with your therapist to begin working towards; areas in your life that you want to see more improvement and need help tracking those goals.
Reflect on the past week and write down any patterns you’ve noticed within yourself that you want to explore further with your therapist.
Take notes within your session or you’ll forget it (unless you have amazing memory skills).
Write down what you discussed in summary after the session, essentially what you took away from that session. Compare this list to what your initial goals were at the start of that session.
When is it Time to End Therapy?
Working on ourselves is hard work. When we start meeting with a therapist, it can be hard to be vulnerable and really trust the process. But when you find a therapist who understands you, is knowledgeable in helping you navigate out of the chaos you’re currently experiencing, and holds space for your emotions without judgment, then it feels easy to heal (mostly).
Therapy is built on the relationship between the client and the therapist, that is where the real healing happens. Our bodies can only fully heal when we share our most vulnerable moments in life with someone who is safe for us. Therapy is teaching us how to have healthy relationships in life so that it can carry into the relationships we have with our family and friends. So naturally, ending this relationship can feel challenging.
So with all that was explored in this blog ranging from when to start therapy, the benefits of working with a therapist, and how to feel productive in therapy, what happens when it’s time to end therapy.
How will you know you are ready?
Terminating therapy is typically talked about for several sessions before the actual final meeting with your therapist. It is usually a mutually agreed upon decision based on your overall progress and maintaining new skills that allow you to feel more in control of your life. There is no time frame for seeing a therapist because everybody grows at different paces, but what I do know to be true is that you will know in your gut that you are ready to move forward. That’s also the beauty of therapy: you learn to trust yourself.
Therapy shows you that you are allowed to return home to yourself again… and again… and again. The door is always open for therapy when you need a support to lean on.
